All you've got to keep is strong
by katiefevur
Summary: Freddie's body has been discovered. Cook disappeared. Effy is in shambles. The group is left to pick up the pieces of what is left of their lives. I won't write a second chapter until I get a few reviews.


Peeking out from under a heap of blankets were a pair of brilliant blue eyes. Her body was clearly twisted in some seemingly uncomfortable stance as she pushed herself out from under the duvet and to the point where her two feet were placed upon the solidity of the hardwood floor. Her hair was upheaved in two different directions and her make-up was clear under her eyes making her look strikingly similar to a raccoon. Clad in only a baggy white v-neck t-shirt and a pair of panties, she looked a mess. She stood there, silent and staring out the window. The sky was grey but the birds were chirping. Not caring what time it was she pulled a stogie out from a crumpled pack laying on the bedside stand before lighting it and taking a long drag.

Inhale.

Exhale.

The smoke filled her lungs and she felt the nicotine rush into her system relieving her withdrawal headache. She placed the cigarette in between her lips and got down on to both of her knees to peer under the bed. Digging around for only a few minutes she fetched a clear bottle and sat down on with her back against the box springs on the floor. Twisting the cap off quickly and tossing it off to the side, she removed the smoke from her mouth and brought the bottle up to her lips and took a few large gulps allowing the burning liquid to rush down her throat. She shuddered.

Effy was having a time. She'd been locked in her room for weeks. It had been exactly three weeks since they'd discovered Freddie's shallow grave. It had been exactly three weeks since she'd realized her entire world was falling apart as it had many times before…. The only difference was this time there was nobody there to pick up the pieces. At least not like he had been able to. He had put her back together so many times she didn't know how he put up with her. Now he was gone because of her.

She had a steady stream of visitors that came in to check on her. Panda and Thomas were both off studying in America at Harvard. Emily, Katie and Naomi spent quite a bit of time with her. Though most of it was them making sure she got fed and showered. They sat there in silence. Nobody was really sure of what to say. JJ came over a few times… He himself though wasn't dealing well. Effy was pretty sure he had left anyways and gone out backpacking… Like he and the rest of them had planned on doing once summer came back around. The only person that had been missing was Cook. He wasn't a fugitive anymore.. So nobody was sure why they had yet to see him. She had tried not to spend much time dwelling on it though. Cook was his best friend. Cook was always there. He had changed her. He had made her.

Effy had loved Freddie with ever bone In her body. She had loved him until it hurt. Until it drove her mad.

She snapped out of her deep thoughts only because there was something clambering through her bedroom window. Jumping back, she shrieked.

"Shhh, Eff! You're gonna wake the entire neighborhood."

The heavy British drawl oozed over his words. They stood there facing each other. She knew how ridiculous she probably looked, standing there wide-eyed and messy as fuck. He had never cared before though so it shouldn't have mattered now… And it didn't. He was wearing a t-shirt, jacket and jeans.. Typical Cook. Always so simple. His hair was sticking out in every which direction. He looked messy too.

It seemed like forever they stood there staring at each other in silence. It was Effy who broke the silence…. As she fell to her knees with a loud sob. He raced to catch her. They sat there on the floor, and they both cried. He held her as her body shook and convulsed with every tear she had held in for the past three weeks. He cried because of what he had done… And how he had known what had happened to Freddie. He cried because he had left her when she needed him most.

It seemed this went on for about half an hour before they were both cried out. At which point she simply sat in his arms. He had wrapped himself around her. Effy was so cold. So frail. She was falling apart more than he had ever seen her.

"Why did you leave me?"

The question was so simple… But she knew the answer would make or break her at this point. She had to know. It had been tearing at her insides for so long.

"I was scared, Eff."


End file.
